Class Occlupania (Occlu=to close, pan= bread) are placed under the Kingdom Microsynthera, Phylum Plasticae. Occlupanids share phylum Plasticae with "45" record holders, plastic juice covers, and other often ignored small plastic objects.
Occlupanids are classified by the only constant structure in their morphology: the mouth cavity, and the surrounding hooks they use to attach to plastic bags. They are divided into:
Archignatha: "first tooth"
Haplognatha: "one tooth"
Acutignatha: "sharp tooth"
Tridenta: "three teeth"
Toxodenta: "curved teeth"
How, might one ponder, were these groups arrived at? Read on!
The specimens here were classified with a few major assumptions: that there is no sexual dimorphism, that there is not more than one sex, that all collected specimens ( with a few exeptions) are full adults, that the species' forms remain static, that differences in mouth dentition and size (with a few exeptions) are the main difference between species, and a host of other leaps of logic too generic to go into here.
With that in mind, the challenge of establishing a solid taxon of these diverse species was daunting. It was determined that occlupanids started from a less complex to more complex form over time. (This is in keeping with an admittedly 18th-Century view of evolotion, and if Steven Jay Gould were to visit the HORG offices no doubt he'd clean our clocks, but that's our story and we're sticking to it.) No attempt has been made to classify occlupanids as to Family, only to Genera and Species. Any info on doing so in a vaguely sane manner would be greatly appreciated- please contact the HORG offices with your findings!
In closing, it is clear that while there is a method to the madness of occlupanid classification, there is clearly more to learn. Researchers at HORG are at home with their books working on the problem!
