What are occlupanids?
Occlupanids are
generally found as parasitoids on bagged pastries in supermarket biomes, although
a few species are found on vegetables and bulk grains, and one notable species
(Uniporus) is found exclusively on vent tubing bags. Their fascinating and complex
life cycle is unfortunately severely under-researched. What is known is that
they take nourishment from the plastic sacs that surround the bagged product,
not the product itself, as was previously thought. They often situate themselves
toward the center of the plastic bag, holding in the contents. This leads to
speculation that the relationship may be more symbiotic than purely parasitic.
At some point, however, the relationship ends, as the occlupanid invariably drops off and rests on the pavement.
Occlupanids are
totally adapted a life of parasitism. Ranging from 2-3cm to 5cm, they are dorsoventrally
flattened for ease of moving between the folds of plastic on which they live.
The principal feature of an occlupanid is its 'mouth', an invagination in what
we're pretty sure is the anterior region of the body. Two inward-curving hooks
of plastic surround a small area within, sometimes lined with smaller notches
or tabs. All dissection attempts have so far indicated that the body is uniformly
composed of a stiff, yet flexible plastic. Although some researchers have performed
experiments to determine the breaking point of this substance, these were denounced
some years ago as being cruel and pointless, and have since been abandoned.
Suffice to say, a loss of one of these hooks spells doom for the occlupanid
The outside (or 'edge') of the occlupanid is often smooth, but many species sport palps, or tabs. These have unguessable purposes for mating, locomotion, defense, take your pick.
Occlupanids come
in a staggering variety of colors; bright red, brilliant yellow, and golden
brown to name a few. Many of these plasticae sport a dizzying array of markings;
often spelling out cryptic phrases like "SellByJUN02" and "MFG
10996C". Field observation has determined that these markings are used
to identify an occlupanid as part of a group, though what purpose a parasite
has for a tribe is unclear. Some researchers believe that these markings are
genetic 'fingerprints' and record them for purposes of lineage and distribution.
These are the researchers who have the most time on their hands, by the way.
Growth and Development
Since
very little of occlupanid's behavior has been recorded, its life cycle remains
a mystery. Most scholars agree that occulpanids attach themselves to the plastic
bagsto gain nourishment. Plastic bags, when distended with matter, twist their
anterior aperature (usually clockwise, but research is inconclusive), forming
a tight stricture that ends in a halo formed by the fringe of the bag. It is
on this stricture that the occlupanid attaches itself, drawing nourishment,
somehow, from the bag. In Supermarket biomes the Bag to Breadtie ratio is 100
percent, but once the bag leaves the supermarket, that ratio drops off sharply.
It is thought that once outside the supermarket environment, the occlupanid
drops off to reproduce, then die. At least, that's the only thing researchers
at HORG have been able to come up with, because occlupanids seem to be found
primarily on asphalt, sidewalks, and other pavement. It is at this time the
majority of collecting is done, and why most occlupanids presented in this collection
are noted as adults, and not the possible juvenile versions, although that is
a little hazy as well.
Origin and Distribution
The earliest known
example of occlupanids dates back to 1952 AD, in the region of what is now Yakima
Valley, Washington. Though primitive, even these early species had already adapted
fully to parasitism on the plastic membranes of apple bags. Traveling the country
nestled in the folds of bagged goods, occlupanids can now be found nationwide,
from Los Angeles to Washington DC. No examples of any occlupanids across the
Pacific or Atlantic oceans has been reported, though there have been rumors
of Italian plasticae that have most curious morphologies. Most field reports
from the British Isles seem to indicate that they once occupied the region,
but have now been supplanted by their convergent rivals from Kingdom Aluminia,
the twist-ties.
There have been no reports on occlupanid distribution in the continents of: South America, Africa, Asia, or Antarctica.
As always, more research is needed in these far-away lands. Any expeditions heading to these regions are asked to fill out a species report and mail it to this address