Arcualatus rubidicax

 “Bow-sided, red and sarcastic”

Kingdom
Microsynthera
Phylum
Plasticae
Class
Occlupanida
Order
Orthogonidectes
Family
Tridentidae
Genus
Arcualatus
Species
A. rubidicax
External morphology

Concave lateral sides, and miniscule palps. Size 21.5 mm x 24.2 mm.

A long-sought occlupanid with a curious history. In 2020 an author in the UK shared a picture of a bright red Tridentid on social media, facetiously positing that most observers under four decades of age would have difficulty determining its taxonomic placement. In a well-documented response, it was wryly inferred that the reason for such confusion was because all pastry products are currently generated cybernetically, eschewing the traditional baking process entirely. While there has been no evidence to back up either of these claims, it is a fact that the occlupanid depicted was indeed a species unknown to scholars at the time, and would remain so for another six years, despite several tantalizing sightings and reports sent to HORG, and occasional re-postings of the original picture by various researchers.

While on an expedition in England in 2025, artisan-explorer S. Nottingham conducted several exhaustive surveys of British grocery stores, searching in vain for this very elusive and infamous species. After having returned home to Australia, a package arrived there from fellow field researcher M. Trigg of Norfolk. Nestled amongst a clattering of British occlupanids was several bright-red specimens of the mystery Tridentid. Knowing the vital importance of such a find, a specimen was swiftly sent to HORG. It is estimated that this holotype in our archives has traveled well over 18,000 miles, criss-crossing the globe on its mission of cladistic destiny.

Like Arcualatus ripalegus, A. rubidicax has slightly bowed lateral sides and miniscule palps that often end in small processes, but the oral groove of A. rubidicax is smaller. It has been reported on bags of bread in Morrisons stores in the UK. It is considered endemic to that region.